Friday, May 30, 2008

Steady Through The Silence

SILENCE! Nothing but….SILENCE! Ever been there…where you just aren’t hearing from God? Me too.

I’ve been a “funk” of late. Something happened a couple of weeks ago that had more impact on me than I thought. Without going into the details please read this and hear my heart.

When this “something” occurred it set me into a whirlwind of doubts and insecurities, feelings of being overwhelmed. These feelings were screaming at me “I can’t do this. I don’t know where to begin or how to do it. How, will I find the time?”

Being the mature Christian that I am J I did what any mature Christian would do. I prayed or at least I tried but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t….there were no real words coming forth….just silence. Then I remembered that the Holy Spirit who lives inside of me will pray for me when I have no words. Unfortunately, that didn’t help the silence either or what I was feeling. So I was beginning to “feel” that I’m not hearing from God because He isn’t hearing from me.

Feelings….I am great at telling people we cannot live by our feelings but we must live by fact…the bible being our basis of fact. Feelings are like roller coasters, up and down, upside down, twisting and turning and actually causing you to get sick after so many twists and turns upside down. Yes, “feelings” can take you on the same kind of ride and I knew that. But I could not get away from those “feelings.” For the past two weeks or so I have to admit that I didn’t want to work on my bible studies let alone prepare a lesson that I would have to teach. Again, those feelings were now in control. I was in a “full fledged funk” and could not snap out of it. It was so bad that I actually asked a small group of ladies to pray for me which is something I usually don’t do.

While these feelings were overtaking my life I praise God that I have learned enough over the years to be on guard. What I mean by that is that I kept my mind, even if it was half hearted, on the things of God. I would still listen to teaching tapes each night before I would go to sleep, I would work on a bible study, and I prepared a lesson last night even though I did not “feel’ like it. But I knew that I knew, if I did not, God would someday take that privilege away from me….I had to give it my best…whatever that was at the time.

Yesterday, while cutting the grass instead of working on my lesson for today because I didn’t “feel” like it, I felt a temptation come upon me. I knew then that I had to be careful because not only was I living on my feelings through this silence, but now, I was on a slippery slope. I knew I had to remain steady because there was some spiritual battle going on over my life….did you ever know deep down in your spirit that there was a battle over your life? It is hard to explain but I know it was there and it was real… it was a sense of oppression. The good news is I finished cutting the grass and eventually the temptation passed. Praise the Lord!

This morning still in a funk and feeling the heavy silence of my Savior, I continued to read the word and I started working on my Beth Moore study. Finally, the silence was broken. God so spoke to my heart and removed my funk. He restored my soul and has refreshed my spirit. I can’t help but think of how God’s Word tells us if we seek Him with all our heart we will find Him Again, we have to live life by the facts of God’s Word and not our feelings.

During these past few weeks I have to be honest with you….God was speaking…there were times when He gave me what I call my “life verses” or verses that are so meaningful to me, that they bring me to tears. So you see I did get something other than silence during this time but yet these feelings were in control. I just “felt” the silence or what I perceived to be silence…not hearing from God. I was searching for answers but not hearing from the One who had them in the way I wanted. However, the other side of that is…I didn’t know why I kept getting those verses until today. Today He showed me that He has plans for me, just for me and He will bring them to completion. I know that my God is bigger than any circumstance or person and that He can handle whatever overwhelms me.

I write this because so many of you have been surrounded by the silence as I have been. I want to encourage you that even when you don’t “feel” like praying or doing a bible study or reading your bible do it anyway. We cannot see what is going on in the spiritual realm. If we allow the silence to send us away from our Savior, you can bet that a slippery slope is in the close distance. Peter followed Jesus at a close distance in John 19 and what happened….he walked right into the enemy’s camp. While he was there, he first stood by the fire warming himself. In the other Gospels we read that Peter then sat warming himself by the fire. It didn’t take long for him to make himself comfortable in the enemy’s camp. Following at a distance whether close or far, can only mean a slippery slope awaits and it will bring you right into the enemy’s camp. Walk steady through the silence because even though we may not hear Him, our Savior is near and He is walking with you. And yes, He does speak through the silence. AMEN!

1 comment:

FreedbyJC said...

Ah, yes...

I too have walked that path, dear one.

The hardest part of communicating is the part where you have to keep very quiet and concentrate, not just listen, but concentrate all of your senses to HEAR the other speak... if you listen closely the given answer will not just tickle the ear but will resonate throughout your whole being.

Be still ... and know. It is only AFTER you make the supreme effort to BE absolutely STILL that you come to know what the stillness was about, what was worked in that stillness, what caused the question to be asked and how the answer is lovingly crafted to fulfill the bigger need that you HAD but may not have seen until it was revealed in the answer ... THAT which is now known overflows the original need.

Our God is an Awesome God...